User:I Am Jebus/A Day in the Life of a Turret

<3 godly

Cast

 * Chell: Protagonist of the Portal series. She gets pwned by turrets.
 * 1 and 2: Turrets
 * 3: Turret
 * CC: Companion Cube. We all know who this is.

SCENE ONE: 8:06 AM
''Chell is walking along a hallway. Number 1 and Number 2 are turrets, armed and deadly.''

CHELL: *walks in turrets's path*

1 and 2: *shoots Chell* ups im horrible with spacing ups

1: Owned.

2: Nice one. So what were you saying?

1: Oh, did you see Lost last night? It was the premiere of season 4.

2: Are they still on that damn island?

1: Well yes, they are lost on it and--

2: Lame. I was playing Call of Duty 4. FPS excellence.

1: Are you kidding? Halo 3 pwns Call of Duty 4.

2: Halo 3 is Call of Duty 4's bitch.

1: You are a bitch. I think I hate you more with every passing day.

2: Good. My work here is done.

SCENE 2: 9:34 AM
1 and 2 are playing tic-tac-toe. ups im horrible with spacing ups

1: Another tie. How boring.

2: A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?

1: Omg, chess is for nerds.

SCENE 3: 11:00 AM
1 and 2 are in a hallway.

2: You know who I ran into last week?

1: Who?

2: The Companion Cube.

1: Omg, I hate that guy. What a douche.

2: Yeah, he was talking shit. He is almost as bad as Number 3.

1: Where is Number 3? I haven't seen him for a while.

2: He was disassembled because of his attitude.

1: Oh. How sad.

2: Not really.

SCENE 4: 12:22 PM
1 and 2 are sitting on the floor with snack food. ups im horrible with spacing ups

1: My fucking turkey is dry. Damn it.

2: Mine too. Sometimes I want to tear this whole damn place apart.

1: Did you see that android in the lunchline? Nice ass on that one.

2: Yes. I would insert my floppy into her disc drives.

1: High fives.

*whoosh*


 * high-five sound*

SCENE 5: 1:41 PM
''1 and 2 are in a room. Chell is hiding around the corner.''

1: Did you hear that?

2: Someone is there. Tell them you see them.

1: Why? I don't see them.

2: It scares the hell out of people.

1: Rofl. Ok.

1: *To Chell* I see you.

2: Ask her if she's still there.

1: Are you still there?

Chell: ... ups im horrible with spacing ups

1: She didn't say anything.

2: No shit sherlock.

1: What should I say now?

*silence*

2: Come out, bitch.

SCENE 6: 2:23 PM
1 and 2 are conversing in a room.

2: I'm pissed.

1: About the last organic that got past us?

2: No. I just tried to access my Facebook account. It said the website was blocked.

1: You didn't see the memo? Facebook and Myspace are banned.

2: Wtf. My Jetman score was so good.

1: I miss all my apps.

2: This would never happen at Black Mesa.

SCENE 7: 3:09 PM
1 and 2 are humming to Still Alive.

2: Doodoodoo doo doo. Doodoodoo doo doodoo da dum.

1 and 2: Doodoodoo doo doo. Doodoodoo doo doodoo doo doo.

SCENE 8: 4:12 PM
1 and 2 are standing by a door.

Companion Cube: *rockets out of nowhere and slams into 1 and 2*

CC: Pwned, bitches! Dominated. ups im horrible with spacing ups

1: Go to hell, Cube.

2: Get your ass off me.

CC: Yeah, you guys like it with the cube on yo face!!!11!!11 Pwned.

1: Oh yeah, wait till you get incinerated.

CC: What are you talking about--

*force picks up Cube*


 * moves it across room*


 * flare of red light*

CC: Whoa, ahh noooooo GAAH IM SORRY FOR EVERYTHING OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDddddddd--.....

1: I'll see you in hell, Cube.

SCENE 9: 5:16 PM
2 is standing on a platform.

1: *falls next to him* Oh my god.

*continued random series of falls*

1: Fuck.

1: Ow.

1: Son of a bitch.

1: What the shit.

1: Balls.

1: Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttt ups im horrible with spacing ups

SCENE 10: 6:20 PM
1 and 2 are talking in a room.

2: Do you ever wonder what happens when we die?

1: What?

2: You know, if our lives will ever mean something.

1: Not this again.

2: Will there really be.... cake?

1: God, this day can't get any worse.

*portal opens up under 1 and 2*

ups im horrible with spacing ups
 * falling towards incinerator*

2: You had to open your big mouth.

2: I wonder if there will be cake.

1: Fuck you.

fin