User talk:Guild of Deals/Joke Room

Ok, here are two major flaws. You need the joke "What's worse than 10 babies in 1 trash can? Answer: 1 baby in 10 trash cans." Second, you need Yo Momma jokes or this page fails.-- (talk /pvxcontribs ) 22:31, 6 December 2007 (CET)


 * Fine, thanks for the pwnzer sauce comment. --[[image:GoD Sign.jpg|20px]] Guild of  Deals  22:33, 6 December 2007 (CET)

ur jokes are fucking failure. there is nothing funny about dead babies, chuck norris, or nuns w/ spears. stop trying to be funny. 209.189.130.127 22:34, 6 December 2007 (CET)
 * WTF CHUCK NORRIS JOKES OWN YOUR FUCKING FACE - Rawrawr  22:35, 6 December 2007 (CET)

lolol ur not cheese.STOP TRYING TO RIDE THE FUCKING LIGHTNING RAWR lulz 209.189.130.127 22:37, 6 December 2007 (CET)


 * First of all, dead babies are hilarious. That's why I think SIDS is hilarious. Second, Chuck Norris is awesome, that's why he has jokes after him. Third, if you don't like them, too bad. --[[image:GoD Sign.jpg|20px]] Guild of  Deals  22:44, 6 December 2007 (CET)


 * It's not like anyone is making you read it. 74.241.138.89 22:45, 6 December 2007 (CET)

"Yo Momma so fat when she was in school she sat next to everybody."

"Yo Momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl"

"Yo Momma so poor she uses coupons at the 99 cent store"

"Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!"

"Yo momma so fat shes on both sides of the family.""

Just ask for more if you need them.-- (talk /pvxcontribs ) 22:46, 6 December 2007 (CET)


 * Awesome-sauce, I'll put them on. --[[image:GoD Sign.jpg|20px]] Guild of  Deals  22:49, 6 December 2007 (CET)

Who the hell is Hellen Keller? — Tycn (talk *pvxcontribs ) 06:12, 8 December 2007 (CET)


 * What's the difference between a Corvette, and a garage full of dead babies?
 * I don't have a Corvette --Wyvern 07:04, 8 December 2007 (CET)

Remove the last line of text down there, if they're offended they have their panic button, it's called backspace. --Wyvern 22:20, 9 December 2007 (CET)


 * I know, but I'm playing it safe. I already got a ban once for NPA violation... I don't wanna do it again. --[[image:ViYGoDsig2.jpg|25px]] Guild of  Deals  22:50, 9 December 2007 (CET)
 * There is nothing personal about this at all. --Wyvern 23:56, 9 December 2007 (CET)

Fine, you win :P -- Guild of  Deals  23:57, 9 December 2007 (CET)


 * Why can't helen keller drive? She's a woman!


 * How do you mess with hellen keller? Put doorknobs on the walls, a plunger in the toilet, and give her a basketball to read.


 * Why was helen kellers leg yellow? Obviously her dog was blind too!


 * How do u get a dead baby in to a jar? A blender!


 * How do u get it out? TOSTITOS!--[[image:Holiday_viy_sig.jpg‎|19px]]Victory is Santas 23:58, 11 December 2007 (CET)

How about this 1:
 * "Yo Momma so fat she can combine /jump with Aftershock." [[Image:Image-Dark_Morphon's_Siggie.jpg‎]]Dark Morphon  (contribs)  06:32, 28 December 2007 (EST)

Added. -- Guild of  Deals  07:05, 28 December 2007 (EST)

Contrib:
 * "Yo Momma's so fat, the opposing base defender casts "base defense" on her when she goes into an AB."
 * "Yo Momma's so fat, when she walks in front ofthe T.V, the entire season of "lost" is over!"
 * "Yo Momma's so fat, you can't kite her PbAoE spells."
 * "Yo Momma's so fat, Victory or Death can't work."
 * "Yo Momma's so fat, she uses your bike helmet for her athletic cup.Yo Momma's got big balls, man!" [[Image:BaineImg.jpg|19px|||My Talk]] BaineTheBotter  07:47, 28 December 2007 (EST)


 * Added! --[[image:GoD Sig3.jpg|20px]] Guild of  Deals  07:48, 28 December 2007 (EST)

Question: What does Courtesy mean? I'm Dutch so I don't always know these things. Dark Morphon  (contribs)  05:09, 29 December 2007 (EST)
 * Politeness, being good mannered. &mdash; Skakid  05:10, 29 December 2007 (EST)


 * Chuck Norris proved there is no life in space, there was before his space journey.
 * Chuck Norris needs to stop washing his clothes in the sea, the tsunamis are killing people!
 * Someone ones told Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks isn't the best kick, that is recorded as the worst mistake in history.
 * Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
 * If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list. [[image:User_Godliest_Icon_ritualist.jpg|19px]] <font color="#339999">GΩdlﺄεﻯt <font color="#DA04FF">-_-  07:19, 29 December 2007 (EST)


 * Nice, nice, added! --[[image:GoD Sig3.jpg|20px]] Guild of  Deals  07:27, 29 December 2007 (EST)

- <font color="#000080">(snō hwīt tăn)  [sic]  <font color="#000080"> [găl'ə-rē]  00:29, 30 December 2007 (EST)
 * What's more fun than swinging a baby on a clothes line? Stopping it with a spade.
 * How do you stop a baby crawling around the room? Nail it's foot to the floor.
 * How do you stop a baby walking in circles? Nail the other foot to the floor.
 * Yo momma's so fat, last time she wore heals, she struck oil.
 * Yo momma's so fat, they call her belt Equator.
 * Yo momma's so fat, her blood type is Hot Chocolate.


 * Added! --[[image:GoD Sig3.jpg|20px]] Guild of  Deals  07:30, 30 December 2007 (EST)

Here's one I made up in an eggnog trance: "What do you call a man who steps up and puts his hands on your privates?" "OMG NOOB TOUCHER!!!" Seb2net 07:38, 30 December 2007 (EST)


 * Gonna be added to LOL Worthy :O --[[image:GoD Sig3.jpg|20px]] Guild of  Deals  07:40, 30 December 2007 (EST)

two I saw in random places, and thought were funny :P Dejh 03:51, 4 January 2008 (EST)
 * Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer
 * Yo momma's so stupid, she can't run IWAY


 * Alright, I'll add. --[[image:GoD Sig3.jpg|20px]] Guild of  Deals  16:29, 4 January 2008 (EST)


 * Ok, I know this is really...lame...if you will, but I just came up with it myself. What did the letter "D" say to the fat letter "E"? "Your a fat-e!" You know...fatty...ehmm...why do I even try? &mdash; [[Image:ViYsig5.jpg|19px]]<font color="Darkblue">Victoryisyours (<font color="Darkblue">talk /<font color="Black">RfA ) 16:32, 4 January 2008 (EST)


 * I'll add it to "LOL" worthy mentions... with a "special" mention of you. --[[image:GoD Sig3.jpg|20px]] Guild of  Deals  16:35, 4 January 2008 (EST)


 * Lol "special" mention. &mdash; [[Image:ViYsig5.jpg|19px]]<font color="Darkblue">Victoryisyours (<font color="Darkblue">talk /<font color="Black">RfA ) 16:38, 4 January 2008 (EST)

Take a look :O -- Guild of  Deals  16:48, 4 January 2008 (EST)

Chuck Norris can beat you in a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.- Jak123X 01:07, 5 January 2008 (EST)

race jokes allowed? <font color="Brown">Punjab 01:37, 5 January 2008 (EST)
 * If it was possible for Chuck Norris to fight himself, he would win.
 * What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take off my cleats before i jump on the trampoline.


 * Errr, of course! Unless anyone whines about it. +10 Manliness points if you do the Afroturf joke. Welcome back BTW. --[[image:GoD Sig3.jpg|20px]] Guild of  Deals  07:34, 5 January 2008 (EST)

Whats the difference between A Jaguar (the car) and dead babies? I don't have a jaguar in my garage.- Jak123X 22:34, 8 January 2008 (EST)
 * Got it already. -- Armond Warblade[[Image:Armond sig image.png]] 01:41, 9 January 2008 (EST)

darn. - &#91;&#91;User:Jak123X&#124;&lt;font color=&quot;Redrod&quot; face=&quot;arial bold&quot;&gt;&#39;&#39;&#39;Jak123X&#39;&#39;&#39;&lt;/font&gt;]]]] 00:03, 14 January 2008 (EST)

The connect 4 in 3 moves should be in there, lol.- Jak123X 18:23, 19 January 2008 (EST)


 * The helicopter was based on sightings of the Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.


 * If it looks like chicken, smells like chicken, tastes like chicken, but Chuck Norris says it's beef, it's beef.


 * When Chuck Norris enters AB, the opposing Base Defender casts Base Defense on himself.


 * Chuck Norris originally had the role of Jack Bauer in 24, but they had to go with Kiefer, as Chuck killed all the terrorists and saved the world twice in only 19 minutes and 34 seconds.


 * Chuck Norris has actually been dead for 11 years. Death is just too afraid to tell him.


 * Don't get me started on Chuck Norris. - <font color="#000080">(snō hwīt tăn)  [sic]  <font color="#000080"> [găl'ə-rē]  02:00, 23 January 2008 (EST)

"Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?" "She was a woman." - Auron 02:18, 23 January 2008 (EST)
 * (no offense)Jesus Christ is the worst driver. why? "Jesus Christ! drive properly!" is often heard on the road. [[Image:BaineImg.jpg|19px|||My Talk]] BaineTheBotter  04:16, 23 January 2008 (EST)


 * Yo momma's so fat, if you cut her, gravy comes out.


 * Yo momma's so fat, when she goes to the beach, she's the only one to get a tan.


 * Yo momma's so fat, when she goes to the beach, Greenpeace comes and pushes her in the water.
 * pwnd - <font color="#000080">(snō hwīt tăn)  [sic]  <font color="#000080"> [găl'ə-rē]  09:05, 23 January 2008 (EST)


 * Alright, lemme add em. --[[image:GoD Sig3.jpg|20px]] Guild of  Deals  15:26, 23 January 2008 (EST)

I got tons more. I Am Jebus 19:05, 27 January 2008 (EST)
 * Yo momma's like Home Depot:You can do her. We can help.
 * Yo momma's like a hardware store:10 cents a screw.
 * Yo momma's like Geico:So easy a caveman can do her.
 * Yo momma's so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said "To Be Continued".
 * Yo momma's so old the milk in her breasts has expired.
 * Yo momma's so old that her Social Security number is 1.
 * Yo momma's so fat that she got the Legendary Grandmaster Cartographer title in half a second.
 * Yo momma's so fat that when God said "Let there be light!" he told her to MOVE!
 * Yo momma's so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
 * Yo momma's so fat she fell in love and broke it.
 * Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.

Mike Huckabee's Bumper stickers don't need glue, they stay on the bumpers because Chuck told them to.--Goldenstar 19:12, 27 January 2008 (EST)


 * Lol those are really good. I like the Home Depot one. --[[image:GoD Sig3.jpg|20px]] Guild of  Deals  19:12, 27 January 2008 (EST)


 * Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.
 * When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
 * Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right fists.
 * When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.--Goldenstar 19:24, 27 January 2008 (EST)


 * If you can see Chuck Norris, then Chuck Norris can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you might be moments from death.
 * During the assassination attempt of JFK, Chuck Norris bravely jumped in front of the bullets and deflected them with his beard. Kennedy was so amazed that his head exploded!
 * Chuck Norris shoots down aircraft by pointing his finger at them and saying "Bang."
 * Chuck Norris needs a wood chipper, some molten lava, and a team of oxen to masturbate.
 * Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil to obtain legendary Kung Fu powers. After the deal was completed, Chuck roundhouse kicked Satan in the face and took his soul back. Satan laughed, admitted he should have seen it coming, and couldn't stay mad. They now play poker every other Wednesday. - zomg!  [[Image:panic_sig.png|19px]]  PANIC!  05:53, 20 February 2008 (EST)

Guild Wars-Related Jokes
I Am Jebus 20:48, 27 January 2008 (EST)
 * Yo momma's so fat that she got the Legendary Grandmaster Cartographer title in half a second. (meant to put this here)
 * Yo momma's so fat that she got Connoisseur of Confectionaries faster than that.
 * Yo momma's so fat that when her teammate said "I'm using Star Burst on Margonite Cleric!" she said "What flavor?"
 * Yo momma's so fat that in Snowball Fights, she spams "Mmm, Snowcone!".
 * Yo momma's so fat that Belly Smash does double damage to her.
 * Yo momma's so fat that Sever Artery has no effect on her whatsoever. It just bounces off.
 * Yo momma's so fat that when she gets knocked down, all players are hit by Earthquake and Aftershock.
 * Yo momma's so fat that for her, Shove is a OHKO to her enemies.
 * Yo momma's so fat that for her, Shove is a PBAoE move.
 * Yo momma's so old that the Watchful Spirit got bored.
 * Yo momma's so fat that when she uses Heal Area, it heals everything on the map.

Funny Builds
Drunken Sex: [build prof=W/Me tactics=12+1+1 swordsmanship=10+1 dominationmagic=8][frenzy][drunken blow][cry of frustration][panic][desperation blow][to the limit!][final thrust][blackout][/build]

Trying-to-get-her-pregnant sex: [build prof=R/W beast=11+1+1 tactics=10 swordsmanship=10][fertile season][companionship][balanced stance][charge!][frenzy][to the limit!][final thrust][thrill of victory][/build]

There will be more. I Am Jebus 21:00, 27 January 2008 (EST)
 * Images of Remorse maybe? --[[image:GoD Sig3.jpg|20px]] Guild of  Deals  21:14, 27 January 2008 (EST)
 * That comes on here:

Pregnancy: [build prof=Me/any domination=12+1+1 illusion=12+1][wastrel's worry][visions of regret][frustration][shame][guilt][complicate][images of remorse][cry of frustration][/build]

The Rapist: [build prof=R/W expertise=10+1+1 beast=8+1 tactics=12 swordsmanship=2][Dodge][pounce][grapple][On Your Knees!][frenzy][brutal strike][final thrust][escape][/build]

Giving Birth: [build prof=Rt/Me domination=12 channeling=10+1+1 communing=8+1 restoration=2+1][cry of pain][agony][pain][anguished was lingwah][visions of regret][accumulated pain][life][mend body and soul][/build] I Am Jebus 21:58, 27 January 2008 (EST)

While not really a joke, here's Hamlet, the abridged version.
[build prof=Any/Any][apply poison][sneak attack][agony]["I Will Avenge You!"][Dash][wastrel's worry][impale][wastrel's collapse][Poison tip signet][Desperation Blow][troll unguent][edge of extinction]["You Will Die!"][Thrill of Victory]["Victory is Mine!"][wastrel's demise][/build]

 Seb2net  (Talk)  07:52, 28 January 2008 (EST)

How do you not have "Whats the last thing that goes trough Chukc Norris's victims' minds? His foot." ---  Ressmonkey (talk)  21:23, 19 February 2008 (EST)

Yo momma's so stupid, that when she saw a sign that said "Wet Floor".... that's exactly what she did.  Seb2net  (Talk)  03:51, 20 February 2008 (EST)


 * lolz, they're both pretty good. BTW, welcome back Ressmonkey :O --[[image:GoD Sig3.jpg|20px]] Guild of  Deals  07:12, 20 February 2008 (EST)

Yo mommas so fat, she's immune to Deep Wound. Ojamo 19:13, 2 March 2008 (EST)


 * Lol. I'm too lazy to add jokes anymore, so anyone can add em. --[[image:GoD Sig3.jpg|20px]] Guild of  Deals  19:15, 2 March 2008 (EST)


 * Did you know Helen Keller had a playground?
 * Neither did she.

---  Ressmonkey (talk)  19:53, 9 June 2008 (EDT)


 * How did the dinosaurs really become extinct?
 * Chucknorrisaures


 * Chuck Norris can rez himself

lol the second one was my bro-- 7h3  ‎ n00b  <font color="Black">p0l1c3  [ 5p34k5  1337! ] 20:09, 9 June 2008 (EDT)


 * Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon?
 * One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, and the other's a watermelon.


 * How do you stop a baby form falling into a well?
 * Throw a javelin through its neck.

---  Ressmonkey (talk)  20:13, 9 June 2008 (EDT)
 * I think I have the Watermelon one, I don't have the javelin one, though. --Guild of Deals<font color="Black"> * Wah <font color="DAA520">Wah  Wah! * 20:14, 9 June 2008 (EDT)
 * good lord those jokes are awful...-- 7h3  ‎ n00b  <font color="Black">p0l1c3 [[image:Badge.jpg|50x19px]] [ 5p34k5  1337!  ] 20:17, 9 June 2008 (EDT)
 * Racist ones can be worse. For example:  "Wat do u do if theres a dieing Mexican on your front lawn?"  "Stop laughing and reload." --- [[Image:Monk-icon-Ressmonkey.JPG|15px]]  Ressmonkey (talk)  20:18, 9 June 2008 (EDT)

Long joke
This is going to be a little hard to get.

There are three men at the gates of Heaven.

The saint says, "Heaven is a bit crowded right now, you have to have died a gruesome death to be allowed in."

The first man says, "So I'm suspecting my wife of having an affair. I come home early one day and I don't see a man anywhere. I look on the balcony and I see a pair of fingers hanging off the edge. I immediately start whacking him with a hammer until he falls, but he landed in a bush. Then I pushed my fridge on him and he died. Of course, I then died of a heart attack."

The second man says, "I do pull-ups on my balcony, but it rained the night before and i slipped and fell. I grabbed on to my neighbor's balcony, but I couldnt get up because I thought I had broke one of my ribs. When the owner of the apartment came home, i thought 'Oh, I'm saved!' Then, he starts hitting my with a hammer! I fell, and then a fridge falls on me and I died.

The third man says, "Picture this. I'm hiding naked in a refridgerator."

-- Jebus  contests  20:55, 28 October 2008 (EDT)
 * Ive never really liked that joke cuz the second guy sucks the most. --- [[Image:Monk-icon-Ressmonkey.JPG|15px]] Ressmonkey (talk)  21:05, 28 October 2008 (EDT)


 * I thought it was funny. -- Armond Warblade[[Image:Armond sig image.png]] 17:14, 29 October 2008 (EDT)
 * <3 u armond. -- Jebus  contests  20:24, 30 October 2008 (EDT)

What's the difference between a truckload of shit and a truckload of dead babies? You can't clean up shit with a pitchfork. <small style="border-style:solid;font-variant:small-caps;border-width:2px;border-color:black;padding:0px 5px 1px 6px;"><font size ="1" color="black" face="verdana">McTai  20:26, 30 October 2008 (EDT)

Chuck Norris is so brave he saved me from getting rick roll'd<font color="#009933">CloseImpact<font color="#003300"> Too Muh Bruh  20:58, 30 October 2008 (EDT)

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father. 21:57, 20 December 2008 (EST)