User talk:I Am Jebus/Long Jokes

Two priests...
are taking a piss in the mens room. One priest looks down at the other's dong and notices something wierd. "Why do you have a stop smoking patch on your dong," he asks. "the other priest says it really does work, im down to two butts a day" Think about it. Effin  NPA's  YOU  22:38, 20 December 2008 (EST)


 * Kinda funny. 23:44, 20 December 2008 (EST)
 * i tried [[Image:christmas-tree.gif|13px]] Effin NPA's  YOU  11:17, 21 December 2008 (EST)

I'm assuming
that I can post offensive jokes. 11:45, 21 December 2008 (EST)
 * Go ahead. 12:11, 21 December 2008 (EST)
 * Okay. I'll post them when I feel like it. 16:18, 21 December 2008 (EST)
 * These are pretty dumb jokes--[[Image:Relyk chtistmas2.jpg|20px]] Christmas Relyk  18:11, 21 December 2008 (EST)
 * I dont see you posting any. 18:11, 21 December 2008 (EST)

Pregnant lady
A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, She complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are coming" and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, "Sloane's Liniment will reduce the swelling" and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick" and I could hardly contain myself. BUT your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"...I just lost it.-- 23:28, 22 December 2008 (EST)

osht
Once upon a time there was a frog who lived in a lake all by himself. He had been given special powers by a local witch. One day he finally ventured out of the lake to get his first glimpse of the world outside. The first thing he saw was a bear chasing a rabbit and so he called out to them and asked them to stop. Then he said to them, "I am a magical frog and since you are the first two animals I have ever seen, I am going to grant you both three wishes. You will each take turns using them and you have to use them now. The bear (being greedy) went first. "I would like for every bear in this forest to be female except for me." A magical sound and it was done. Then the rabbit. "I would like a helmet." This confused both the frog and the bear, but after a magical sound there was a helmet. It was the bear's turn again. "I would like for every bear in the neighboring forest to be female." A magical sound and it was done. The rabbit went again. "I would like a motorcycle." Both the frog and the bear wondered why the rabbit didn't just ask for a lot of money with which he could buy himself a motorcycle, but after a magical sound there was a motorcycle. The bear took his last wish. "I would like for all the bears in the world to be female except for me." A magical sound and it was done. The rabbit then put on his helmet, started up the motorcycle, said "I wish the bear was gay." and took off. -- 23:30, 22 December 2008 (EST)

okeys
this one has to do with makin fun of religion...uhmm dont kill me XD--A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife." "What type of bra?" asked the clerk. "Type?" inquires the man, "There is more than one type?" "Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from." Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied "There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?" Now befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them. The saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple... The Catholic type supports the masses. The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen, The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.-- 23:33, 22 December 2008 (EST)