User:Karate Jesus/Preserved for the Good of Humanity

Grinch Speaks
Gronchenstein is a name I've used on my characters. He is my investment banker, crusher of high-risk assets. A sensual crusher, even. His hammer has an outer layer of the finest velour known to mankind. But enough about this perfectly sculpted, pec-laden monster of a fiancier: onwards to discussing women and their role as central objects on gaming websites. It is, without question, that humans are inherently tribal animals. A family is a tribe of sorts, with an alpha male and female (daddy and mommy, respectively, or your dad grew a vagina, then mommy and daddy, respectively) as are a group of friends. In any clique, there's a person who's most popular: he can be the alpha. This is much like how wolves work: the alpha male and female are in charge of the tribe and look after its survival. They lead the pack. There are wolves below the alphas in hierarchy and they are responsible for the day-to-day stuff: hunted, etc. And finally, there are the wolves in the dregs: taking care of the young, what have you. To understand why e-women, no matter how beautiful or hideous they are, are objects of lust in the gaming world, you have to understand why most people play MMOs like this. Let's face it, the vast majority of people on this wiki are social and sexual failures- shy and socially awkward yet intelligent or outgoing and socially awkward yet retarded or even, shy and retarded. Perhaps, they're so fat, they can't get out of their chair, incapable of getting a girlfriend or if they are, incapable of getting one that doesn't look like one of those thingies Shiro summons in factions that explode and shit. Thusly, these social rejects go find a tribe that understands them. Welcome to GWW. In this GWW tribe, there are also multiple "ranks" so to speak. I, for example, am supreme overlord. I tell people what to do and they generally do it. What do you think I have sitting in my email inbox right now? There are people below me: they're called bcrats and sysops. Below that, there are the unwashed, uneducated masses: that's all of you. What most of the people in these groups, regardless of their "level" on the wiki, is that they probably have asperger's syndrome. When a girl, something that most everyone here has trouble getting, comes on the wiki, they see it as their "chance." "Perhaps I can get into a realationship with this person because I'm completely incapable of getting into one in real life!" In fact, time spent on wikis and level of real life, social success is almost always inversely proportional. Just ask Skuld or even myself. When I was in 10th grade, I had a serious back problem that prevented me from playing sports or exercising, lowering my attractiveness quite a bit but I've since healed up a bit and use my sharp tongue and prince-like hair (will provide picture if requested) to get women in the area of Virginia and Maryland when I seldom visit the area. So, in summation, are women on Guild Wars, Guild Wars Wiki, and most other online games ugly? Yes. But so are you, and you're a walking summary of why research for genetic screening to prevent autism (among other things like fibrosis and cancer) should be given funding by the government.  —ǥrɩɳsɧƴ ɖɩđđɭɘş  16:56, 11 February 2010 (UTC)